Tags: tony abbott

24 Feb 2008, Comments Off on “They’ve had three months of grieving and sulking and carrying on. It’s about time they started behaving like a proper opposition.”

“They’ve had three months of grieving and sulking and carrying on. It’s about time they started behaving like a proper opposition.”

Author: Helen

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry watching the scenes in Question time last night. Lord knows I don’t think the new PM or any of the other members of his front bench is any kind of Messiah (expect more posts on that subject shortly). But jesus christ on a cracker, look at the new “opposition”. As Carolinkus said here, “these guys really are horribly desperately dreadful.” I think that pretty much nails it.

VIRGINIA TRIOLI, PRESENTER: It’s often likened to an unruly schoolyard and today the behaviour of MPs in Federal Parliament did nothing to improve that reputation.

On its first official Friday sitting, the House of Representatives descended into chaos, shouting matches and general defiance of the Speaker.

The planned business of Parliament barely got a look in amid the pandemonium – which culminated in a cardboard cut-out of the Prime Minister being dragged into the chamber and later ordered back out.
DANA ROBERSTON: Finally, the faux Prime Minister and his Parliamentary companion departed, but others didn’t give up quite so easily. Liberal MP Steve Ciobo had to be escorted out.

SPEAKER: Because of the gross disorderly conduct of the member, I ask the sergeant to remove the member. I ask the sergeant to remove the member.

DANA ROBERSTON: He was soon joined in the Parliamentary sin bin by Joanna Gash and Tony Abbott…

And what was the reason? Because the PM was visiting the devastated town of Mackay. That’s what prime ministers do when there’s a natural disaster. isn’t it? If he hadn’t, the Libs would have attacked with “The PM’s warming his bum on a parliamentary seat while Mackay drowns” schtick. Either way, they’ll find a way to spin it. (Is Crosby Textor still on their payroll?)

These people can’t build anything; their only skill is in tearing people down, and they’re not even very good at that.

Lindsay Tanner (for whom I carry no torches) was magnificent, this time, in his well-crafted scorn.

They’ve had three months of grieving and sulking and carrying on. It’s about time they started behaving like a proper opposition.

You know what else I noticed? He wasn’t smirking. It was good. Let’s make our Parliament a smirk-free zone.

12 Feb 2007, Comments Off on World domination one step closer

World domination one step closer

Author: Helen

A belated public announcement: the Balcony is now publishing selected rants over at Tim Dunlop’s Road to Surfdom.

Here on the Balcony we’re very excited, because RTS was one of the first, if not the first, blogs I ever read. I stumbled on Tim’s blog from Margo Kingston’s Webdiary, which was a really interesting read. Kind of like a blog, only not. From there I discovered people like Gianna of She Sells Sanctuary, who’s also writing for Road to Surfdom now, Virulent Memes (which was dead, but now is alive again) and What’s New Pussycat, and from there on to the US blogs. That was it. I was hooked.

As a wise man said, I was doomed to spend the rest of what I am pleased to call my life in squalor, typing furiously or scrolling and cackling while the kids drink the bong water.

As if to prove the point that the Balcony’s tentacles* are reaching ever further into the public discourse, Tim just emailed to point out that Tony Abbott has revised his favourite statistic** – 100,000 abortions a year – down to 75,000. (I still think it’s inflated.)

Cue maniacal evil overlord laughter.

*Whaddya mean, mixed metaphor?
**Get out of here with that Post hoc Propter hoc rubbish. He caved, I tellya, caved.

Cross posted, with some of the rubbish cut out, at Road to Surfdom.

9 Feb 2006, Comments Off on R U having a lend of me, Tony?

R U having a lend of me, Tony?

Author: Helen

Well, as Suki just pointed out, The Senate has voted 45 to 28 in favour of taking the decision (to approve, or not, the use of medical abortion by RU486) away from the health minister. And may I say that I have never seen such an egregious pile of steaming dingoes’ kidneys as the arguments from the opposing side.

Tony Abbott!! Who in God’s name has ever suggested that RU486 is going to be sold in the supermarket? You can’t even get Panadeine in the supermarket. Kerry O’Brien also called you on your use of the word “backyard”, you disingenuous little man.

Then there was the brilliant argument that medical abortion is so important that it can’t be left merely to bureaucrats like the Therapeutic Goods people. I mean, just because they’re trained in medical matters. No, this is something so solemn it must be left to ministerial discretion. Ponder that one for a while. Surely other things are also very important? Maybe Abbott should have to perform brain surgery and do medical research himself, since these things are far too important to be left to mere surgeons and mere scientists.

But the hot and sexy argument du jour was, of course, “RU486 is going to kill mothers” (in rural and remote areas, many of them possibly Liberal voters).

Never mind, Tony, I have the solution. As RU-486 duplicates the effects of an ordinary miscarriage and a full-term pregnancy is vastly more risky than either, I think that the only course of action is for the Federal government to ban sex in the outback altogether. Happily, we have a precedent (think something like the Commonwealth Radioactive Waste Management bill 2005), so this shouldn’t be a problem.

Well, I reckon it’s as sensible as some of the stuff I heard from our parliamentarians today.

23 Mar 2005, Comments (0)

Bring lawyers, guns and sonny

Author: Helen

What’s the difference between a Labor candidate holding a machine gun


and a Liberal Senator holding a machine gun?


Well, the first photo was taken when Ivan Molloy was a callow youth, for which we cut him some slack, is that right Tony? Oh, maybe not.

The other was taken quite recently when Ross Lightfoot, pumped and battle-scarred from jostling female senators, and really old enough to know better, thought he’d do a similar bit of macho posturing.

But Ross’s gang’s in Government, and Molloy’s isn’t, so I guess that’s all right, then.

While we’re mentioning Tony… I felt exactly the same as one of Jess at Ausculture’s comments: I saw Tony Abbott on the television just now and I almost felt compassion for him. I feel dirtyÖ But even in the collapse of his Adoption not Abortion Good News Story, I heard elisions and distortions slipping off the Tony tongue. I don’t think there is really any way of profiting from this one any more, unless it’s to elicit sympathy. But it appears Liberal politicians can’t help themselves:

I have gone through 27 years of life convinced that I was Daniel’s dad, but it appears that is not the case,” he said.
“And I’m sorry that poor old Daniel has been dragged through the public spotlight as a result of a connection to me which it now appears was never the case.”

MMmmmmbut, he was not “convinced” for 27 years that he was Daniel’s dad. He was correct in saying “For 27 years I thought I had a son out there” but he wasn’t informed of Daniel O’Connor’s identity until 24 December, 2004. And I’m not the only person with the strong impression that he played his role in dragging Daniel through the public spotlight – as a touchy-feely good news story that helped improve his media image, while at the same time providing a hook to hang his anti-abortion activism on.

Speaking of which…

Abbott’s been making much of his “callowness” back in the day when young Daniel was conceived. Even the revelation of his non-parent status didn’t faze him, because, you see, they were all young and callow. They all rooted like rattlesnakes because they were… teenagers. Couldn’t help it!

Right!! So…..

So I hope that sometime in the future, in the course of his continued association with the abortion debate and “family values” politics, he doesn’t make the mistake of copying the disastrous US idea of winding back education on safe sex and contraception in favour of abstinence “education”.

Because he’s just really blown his own cover and that of his own generation, like, totally.

(What about the lawyers? well, I never did manage to work that one in, but I daresay Ross Lightfoot’s got one.)