Tags: greeting card wisdom

22 Jul 2004, Comments (0)

What a Downer

Author: Helen

Dolly is shocked and saddened that the ungrateful Timorese people still want their share of the Greater Sunrise natural gas field. After all we’ve done for them! Read what he said, and cringe, fellow Australians.


ALEXANDER DOWNER: The vast majority of the Australian people don’t appreciate the abuse that’s been meted out at Australia after all we’ve done for East Timor, and I don’t think it’s a tactic that will work, and I’ve explained that to the East Timorese, that it’s not a wise tactic.

(Folding hands piously across Buddha-like stomach,)

…You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.

Barf!…As if that little piece of Hallmark Greeting-card wisdom wasn’t embarassing enough, because Australia has refused to accept the jurisdiction of the International Court of Justice, Jose Ramos Horta has suggested bringing in New Zealand as an independent mediator. We were humiliated in the Synchronised Swimming Rugby, and now the Kiwis are being brought in to curb our government’s greedy excesses.

Unfortunately, like so many of his type, Dolly just can’t stop digging himself further into the hole:


ALEXANDER DOWNER: No, Australia has been a proud and independent country for a very long time, and we’re able to look after our own negotiations as we did with the Papua New Guineans, as we did with the New Zealanders themselves, and we can do all of that ourselves.

Yes Dolly, we’re so proud and independent we let the US ambassador, um, provide independent advice to the Australian electorate, and your mob are hellbent on signing a Free Trade Agreement benefiting the United States as well as kowtowing to them on Israel/Palestine (via Back Pages ). As ‘Nabakov’ said (see previous link) we’re a protectorate with good beaches. Or as Chris puts it, an international disgrace.

Never mind, Dolly, you stand up to those Papua new Guineans! However, I have to agree, those Noo Zealanders are damned scary.

(Disclaimer: the Cast Iron Balcony is married to a Noo Zillander.)