Tags: crosby textor

24 Feb 2008, Comments Off on “They’ve had three months of grieving and sulking and carrying on. It’s about time they started behaving like a proper opposition.”

“They’ve had three months of grieving and sulking and carrying on. It’s about time they started behaving like a proper opposition.”

Author: Helen

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry watching the scenes in Question time last night. Lord knows I don’t think the new PM or any of the other members of his front bench is any kind of Messiah (expect more posts on that subject shortly). But jesus christ on a cracker, look at the new “opposition”. As Carolinkus said here, “these guys really are horribly desperately dreadful.” I think that pretty much nails it.

VIRGINIA TRIOLI, PRESENTER: It’s often likened to an unruly schoolyard and today the behaviour of MPs in Federal Parliament did nothing to improve that reputation.

On its first official Friday sitting, the House of Representatives descended into chaos, shouting matches and general defiance of the Speaker.

The planned business of Parliament barely got a look in amid the pandemonium – which culminated in a cardboard cut-out of the Prime Minister being dragged into the chamber and later ordered back out.
DANA ROBERSTON: Finally, the faux Prime Minister and his Parliamentary companion departed, but others didn’t give up quite so easily. Liberal MP Steve Ciobo had to be escorted out.

SPEAKER: Because of the gross disorderly conduct of the member, I ask the sergeant to remove the member. I ask the sergeant to remove the member.

DANA ROBERSTON: He was soon joined in the Parliamentary sin bin by Joanna Gash and Tony Abbott…

And what was the reason? Because the PM was visiting the devastated town of Mackay. That’s what prime ministers do when there’s a natural disaster. isn’t it? If he hadn’t, the Libs would have attacked with “The PM’s warming his bum on a parliamentary seat while Mackay drowns” schtick. Either way, they’ll find a way to spin it. (Is Crosby Textor still on their payroll?)

These people can’t build anything; their only skill is in tearing people down, and they’re not even very good at that.

Lindsay Tanner (for whom I carry no torches) was magnificent, this time, in his well-crafted scorn.

They’ve had three months of grieving and sulking and carrying on. It’s about time they started behaving like a proper opposition.

You know what else I noticed? He wasn’t smirking. It was good. Let’s make our Parliament a smirk-free zone.

26 Nov 2007, Comments Off on Speech Therapy: the R word

Speech Therapy: the R word

Author: Helen

Scene: A back room at the Wentworth Hotel, 9:30, saturday, November 24.

The soon-to-be-ex PM is rehearsing an especially tricky section of his concession speech with a coach from Crosby Textor.

Crosby Textor Coach: Now, deep breath and try again. You can do this!

Rodent: I t-t-t-t-take…

CTC: C’mon…

Rodent: I t-t-t-take fuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaargh!

CTC: Full.

Rodent: fuuuaaaaaaargh! Respoooooooooooniiiiiibleeeee…

CTC: Res-pon-si-bil-ity.

Rodent: Yes, I AM aware of that. It’s the word order I find, quite frankly, mr Spoiker, offensive to a great statesman such as myself.

CTC: I’m not your Mr Speaker, you made that mistake before. Try to remember we’re not in Parliament now. Right, let’s go again, not long to go before your speech.

Rodent: I t-taa..ake fuuuargh! Respoooooooooooniiiiiieeeee! Aaargh! It burns!

CTC: Here, have some water. Don’t worry mate, I know you haven’t had any practice with this. we’ll have it down by the time you hit the podium.

Rodent: I’m meltiiiiiiing…..