Tags: concession speech

26 Nov 2007, Comments Off on Speech Therapy: the R word

Speech Therapy: the R word

Author: Helen

Scene: A back room at the Wentworth Hotel, 9:30, saturday, November 24.

The soon-to-be-ex PM is rehearsing an especially tricky section of his concession speech with a coach from Crosby Textor.

Crosby Textor Coach: Now, deep breath and try again. You can do this!

Rodent: I t-t-t-t-take…

CTC: C’mon…

Rodent: I t-t-t-take fuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaargh!

CTC: Full.

Rodent: fuuuaaaaaaargh! Respoooooooooooniiiiiibleeeee…

CTC: Res-pon-si-bil-ity.

Rodent: Yes, I AM aware of that. It’s the word order I find, quite frankly, mr Spoiker, offensive to a great statesman such as myself.

CTC: I’m not your Mr Speaker, you made that mistake before. Try to remember we’re not in Parliament now. Right, let’s go again, not long to go before your speech.

Rodent: I t-taa..ake fuuuargh! Respoooooooooooniiiiiieeeee! Aaargh! It burns!

CTC: Here, have some water. Don’t worry mate, I know you haven’t had any practice with this. we’ll have it down by the time you hit the podium.

Rodent: I’m meltiiiiiiing…..