25 Feb 2009, Comments (17)

You’re soaking in it.

Author: Helen

Another little delivery of mass-produced misogyny in our inbox. For Valentines’ day, no less. This time it isn’t anyone we know, but check the hilarity:

Valentines day… secretly guys feel left out.
There is no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation to the man in their life.
March 20th is now officially ‘Steak, blow job & shut the fuck up day’. Simple, effective and self explanatory.
No cards. No flowers. No fancy meal.
Just a steak, blow job and shut the fuck up for the rest of the day.
That’s it!!!
Spread the word and help men feel appreciation.

To those who will immediately come in here and opine, “Well, you know, it’s just a joke! and it’s spam!” I reply that it just gets tiring, sometimes.

I just dropped into the supermarket to get bread, which is a daily habit – there’s always something running out. Bread, fruit, milk, the perishables. By “dropped into” I mean “made a detour to get stuff, instead of sitting for half an hour drinking capuccino before my second shift.” And I see this exchange between a young cannibal and a cannibal Dad on a birthday card:
Son: Look, a woolly mammoth!
Dad: No, son, too hairy. Bleugh! We’ll find something else to eat.
Son: Look Dad, a dodo!
Dad: No, too feathery. Bleugh!
Son: Look Dad, a lovely young woman! [YW is, of course, in a paleolithic bikini. What else?]
Dad: No wait a minute Son. Don’t kill her! We’ll take her home – and we’ll eat your mother.

humourless feminist! Can’t you take a joke!

Being so hated makes you want to throw the bread away and opt for the capuccino, or better still, a stiff vodka and tonic. Or just get into the fridge and close the door. At least the men in your own family don’t think this way. At least, as far as you know.

Back to the delightful Valentine’s day “joke”. See, even on the day they should love you the most, they really do hate you. Googling it for research purposes, surprise, surprise, of course it comes up on a news.com.au “blog” thread – Kate De Brito. The agony aunt. (e.g., “We came home to find the babysitter half nude. What do we do?” errr… not hire that particular babysitter again? “Should I tell my partner about a breast enlargement?” Oh Murdoch, you’re all class.)

The comments are about what you’d expect:
“You’re very lucky if the girl makes any effort other than parting her legs at the end of the night.
SO…I hereby propose MARCH 20th to be…
“STEAK, BLOW JOB and SHUT THE F*CK UP DAY”
“It reminds me of a quote a very old man told me many years ago. “ All women are prostitutes, we all pay for sex, at least with real “working girls” one knows the cost and what one will get”
…”In purely monetary terms, hookers are actually cheaper. Depending on your personal cost structures (housing, transport, rates, flowers, movies etc) your average man would need to get sex at least 4 times a week to break even on a “normal” relationship.”
…”pity any guy if it happens to be that time of the month for his girl. It’s like putting some money in the bank with no interest on your deposit.”

Etc.

This comes shortly after another news.com.au story on Amazon.com and its extraordinary social conscience:

ONLINE retail giant Amazon has yanked from its virtual shelves a Japanese computer game that lets players simulate raping girls…

…”after it was brought to the US web firm’s attention”. Of course, it’d be too much to expect that a successful retail giant could possibly afford to vet the quality of its merchandise in the first place. While some of the commenters on that article are groping towards a realisation that all isn’t right with a “game” like this, some of them are more concerned with a perceived insult to their platform.

…news.com.au, change the thumbnail photo on the homepage. This has nothing to do with console gaming, at ALL.

…Why is there an Xbox 360 controller in the picture? This has nothing to with Xbox 360 or any other console for that matter

Touching, no? If only I were an X box. I’m feeling the love there.

Also on news.com.au:

SLEAZY men are taking advantage of Sydney’s rental crisis by placing online advertisements offering women free rooms in exchange for sex.
The zero-rent ads, targeting desperate women looking for somewhere to live, are becoming increasingly common on popular “share house” rental websites.
Although there have been numerous complaints about the ads, which some website users have dubbed “offensive”, they do not breach policy guidelines for sites such as flatmates.com.au

And oh lord, the comments thread on that one.

So what’s the point, you say? This stuff is all over the place every single day. Yes, exactly that.

Comments (17)

  • Amanda says:

    My mum sends me emails with attached Powerpoint files named “Snoopy_Friends.” which are cringey enough … though sweet, really, even as I roll my eyes. I NEVER get this shit — GET NEW FRIENDS.

    The De Britos — yeah. Do you also get Sam the brother of Kate down there? I avoid all, but the SMH pops the topic up on the front page in your face. The other day it was all about “fat chicks” and lack of attraction thereof. Natch. I recommend Fuck Politeness for cathartic takedowns of Fairfax idiocy http://fuckpoliteness.wordpress.com/2009/02/24/is-smart-the-new-sexy-and-other-fascinating-questions-fuck-the-sams-and-why-im-gonna-be-light-on-with-the-posting/

  • Pavlov's Cat says:

    That Sam de Brito column is unbefuckinglievable. It reminded me of class act Leo Silvestri from the Dianne Brimble case, the one who said he ‘never spoke to anything [!] over 60 kilos’. As a traditionally built lady myself (and of mature years, too) I was relieved to see that I was therefore quite safe, and in any case I don’t speak to anything under 120 IQ points myself.

    Unable to remember Dianne Brimble’s first name in order to leave this comment, I Googled the name of Silvestri, which is the sort of thing you don’t forget. And surprise, surprise, look what I found.

    Either Sam’s standards are going downhill fast or he doesn’t recognise himself in his own self-righteous portrait of Silvestri. Sad, either way.

  • marryhalal says:

    Well written post.

    Do you think this is an Australian thing?

    These jokes are widespread I know, but I can’t help thinking they’re more manistream in Oz

  • ThirdCat says:

    Oh, my. Somehow I didn’t know anything about that ‘blog’. It does get you down a bit, doesn’t it?

  • Helen says:

    Amanda, I hasten to point out it wasn’t anyone we know – I think! In our case it was spam.

  • Tim says:

    There’s a Kate de Brito now? Sam was bad enough. They’re like the Daddos of offensive blogging.

  • Kath Lockett says:

    I’m with Tim – there’s TWO of them now? At least they’re based in Sydney and not here (shudder).

    I think the saddest thing about this ‘humour’ is not that its malevolence hidden and we’re told, “Can’t you take a joke?” but that the people who love the stuff aren’t smart enough to be convinced otherwise. Just taking a stroll through the touristy crap sold at Queen Vic Markets reveals ugly, misogynistic tshirts being sold by the bucket load.

    Still, it does provide me with a mean snigger of amusement whenever I see a bloke wearing something that says, “If it has tits or wheels it’s going to be trouble” when he’s
    a) on public transport and
    b) not likely to attract anything with mammaries.

  • […] Of course, it ain’t all just candy and men screaming GET THEE TO A NUNNERY FOUL HARLOT. There’s also the low-level constant grind of sexism that keeps needling at us all every. Single. Day. Of our lives. Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony illustrates this brilliantly in You’re soaking in it. […]

  • Caroline says:

    I landed in this life in 1964 at which time, I had a fighting chance. In 1982 I entered the ‘real’ world of employment, mostly–usually for men. Overnight it seems I was presented with attitudes and prejudice such as I never knew existed.

    Now, my fighting chance lies in a parlous state. Why? Because I am a woman and now, an older woman, who is ‘losing’ her looks. (“Lookie, lookie lookie’s. Where are you?”) I am now officially invisible. Younger men regard me with a mixture of fear horror and disdain, usually in that order. Just who the hell do I think I am? (or was)

  • Caroline says:

    . . . compared to them.

  • Helen says:

    Link – but you’re a useful person who knows how to look after horses. Don’t your employers respect your skillz? I know the feeling though, I am working with a bunch of younger men and although I have a lot of fun, I cringe inwardly sometimes at how I’m no longer in the younger category. That seemed to creep up quite quickly.!

  • […] So this level of misogyny…it’s hard to keep on hearing it, to bear it, to see how wildly fucking popular it is, to see more and more evidence of how little women are respected or even seen as fully human, so sometimes when it gets too much I have to kind of blank it out, go numb. For a beautiful explanation of the pain it causes women when they haven’t managed to block it out on a given day, see Helen at Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony’s post ‘You’re Soaking In It’. But this day the rage induce white noise was getting loud enough to do damage (DISEASE RIDDEN????) so I had to go blank, but then this misquote just tripped me up. She researches so very very little that she can’t even get the main line from a hit pop song right (it’s called GOOGLE, look into it shithead): Sadly, along with Hymowitz, many experts (including Freud himself) blame it on the behaviour of the fairer sex. Case in point: one minute SYFs (Single Young Females) want something casual, a fling, an F-Buddy or a one-night stand because, heck, we’re modern women who can have sex without emotional connection or a ring on our fingers. And the next minute, we find ourselves asking that very same one-night stand what he thinks about marriage, when he envisions himself having kids and how he feels about raising a family in the suburbs versus the city. […]

  • Caroline says:

    Thanks Helen. Yes I know I can be useful and I realise that my comment makes me sound embittered. It is more that I am frustrated when confronted with the fact that feminism disappeared off the radar or was transmogrified into a parody in many men’s views about 20 years ago. I wonder that I’m not becoming ageist, as I have issues with men on either side of my age group. The sexism that was so appalling when I first started working came from a man thirty years my senior and I forgave him his ignorance, for having grown up in less enlightened times. The sexism that appalls me today comes from someone ten years my junior and it is more assertive, more violent and more (cock)sure.

  • […] Filed under: Uncategorized — ispower @ 3:04 am This. […]

  • Helen says:

    No, you don’t sound embittered at all Link!

  • Heya Helen, I just wanted to say a personal thanks for this. I read it and immediately sent it to my partner as it’s just really valuable to have these discussions of just how much this shit can get you down on a personal level some days. I kept trying to formulate a comment but I was too sad. The Steak, blowjob and shut the fuck up day…as my partner said ‘Isn’t that every day?’ referring to the way women are seen and treated. And those comments after…I’ve been having discussions with Beppie about how when women are discussed as “being” certain ways that it invisibilises women who don’t fit that mould and who work fucking hard to maintain equality, who value relationships FOR their own sake, who don’t view sex as a commodity to exchange, a ‘gift’ to men in exchange for goods and services…you’re at once invisibilised and defined in extraordinarily crappy terms, terms that do damage and lead to violence, violence which is ignored or excused…it’s hard not to cry until you’re sick.

  • […] Like Helen says, misogyny: you’re soaking in it. […]

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