…AKA international day for the elimination of violence against women.
Working in the Melbourne CBD, I thought I’d see white ribbon sellers at the station today, but didn’t. Neither did I see a white ribbon being worn by anyone, anywhere, for the whole of my working day. Not one. While blog and forum commenters whined that women were as usual hogging all the attention and where is the man-love?, I saw plenty of mos for Movember (a cause I thoroughly support, BTW.)
Being a feminist blogger is tiring. Along comes a feminist “day” or a news item, and out come all the tired old antifeminist tropes again. Even on blogs with a (mostly) articulate and educated readership, we get threads like this and this and this. It gets so exhausting refuting the same old stuff.
This is mildly interesting: a female antifeminist, who is vigorously blaming the victims, lets slip that her own mother was subject to domestic violence and she herself only just escaped. It’s an incomplete but fascinating glimpse into the pathology of how this behaviour continues. Like any disease, family violence doesn’t necessarily manifest itself in every individual affected, but it has carriers.
That’s how you get sucked into life-wasting hours trying to do the impossible. And it makes me tired.
I liked this article by Irfan Yusuf of Planet Irf a lot, as well as this piece by Andrew O’Keeffe, the Australian chairman of the White Ribbon Foundation and this succinct comment from Tigtog on the LP thread.
Oh, and this post from a most wonderful US blog, the Mugwump Chronicles.
“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” Melinda said. “It’s still as crazy as ever around here.”
Melinda, you’re 20 years old now, why don’t you get out?”
“As soon as Sammy is out of the house I can go.”
“How old is she now?” I asked.
“She’s 10. The second she turns 16 we’re gone.”
Melinda’s voice was dreamy. “I can make it that long. I have to take care of her.”
It was probably an hour after we had said our good-byes that the full impact of our conversation hit me. My knees grew weak and I had to sit for a minute, my mind was racing. Everything fell into place with a bang. I saw my childhood friend and riding buddy with a terrible clarity.