25 Nov 2008, Comments (9)

White Ribbon Day

Author: Helen

…AKA international day for the elimination of violence against women.

Working in the Melbourne CBD, I thought I’d see white ribbon sellers at the station today, but didn’t. Neither did I see a white ribbon being worn by anyone, anywhere, for the whole of my working day. Not one. While blog and forum commenters whined that women were as usual hogging all the attention and where is the man-love?, I saw plenty of mos for Movember (a cause I thoroughly support, BTW.)

Being a feminist blogger is tiring. Along comes a feminist “day” or a news item, and out come all the tired old antifeminist tropes again. Even on blogs with a (mostly) articulate and educated readership, we get threads like this and this and this. It gets so exhausting refuting the same old stuff.

This is mildly interesting: a female antifeminist, who is vigorously blaming the victims, lets slip that her own mother was subject to domestic violence and she herself only just escaped. It’s an incomplete but fascinating glimpse into the pathology of how this behaviour continues. Like any disease, family violence doesn’t necessarily manifest itself in every individual affected, but it has carriers.

That’s how you get sucked into life-wasting hours trying to do the impossible. And it makes me tired.

I liked this article by Irfan Yusuf of Planet Irf a lot, as well as this piece by Andrew O’Keeffe, the Australian chairman of the White Ribbon Foundation and this succinct comment from Tigtog on the LP thread.

Oh, and this post from a most wonderful US blog, the Mugwump Chronicles.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing,” Melinda said. “It’s still as crazy as ever around here.”
Melinda, you’re 20 years old now, why don’t you get out?”
“As soon as Sammy is out of the house I can go.”
“How old is she now?” I asked.
“She’s 10. The second she turns 16 we’re gone.”
Melinda’s voice was dreamy. “I can make it that long. I have to take care of her.”
It was probably an hour after we had said our good-byes that the full impact of our conversation hit me. My knees grew weak and I had to sit for a minute, my mind was racing. Everything fell into place with a bang. I saw my childhood friend and riding buddy with a terrible clarity.

Comments (9)

  • FYI, this blog has been hacked — lots of spam content in hidden paras. “View Source” will show you.

  • Jennifer says:

    Thanks for all the links. I went out and bought both (the bracelet and the ribbon) this morning, and then promptly forgot to put them on at work. Very annoying.

    Yes, and saw lots of mos for Movember, too.

  • Oz Ozzie says:

    Loved the xkdc reference, thanks. Hadn’t seen that one before.

    I only found about white ribbon day from reading this blog after it happened. Guess I’m just an ignorant male after all 😉

  • Helen says:

    Well, you could hardly be blamed if there were no sellers about or people wearing them.

    Jacques – I saw I’d been hacked yesterday (how long for I don’t know). Can’t work out yet how to beat them but I always have… so far! although I have to say it was easier when they “hid” the crap in the posts.

  • shula says:

    You’re getting hacked?

    Jesus, what a drag.

  • holy crap. i just went to the club troppo page. i’m not sure i’m going to follow the other links after all 🙁

    thanks for this post and for pointing them out though. it’s easy (for me) to forget how prevalent those kinds of views are. i take back any cynicism i had yesterday about ‘white ribbon day’ (which isn’t even worth going into anymore).

  • Helen says:

    Thanks for the heads up, Jacques – not quite as easy as last time this happened, where they simply hid the stuff in old posts.

  • […] 25 November was White Ribbon Day. Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony blogged on White Ribbon Day; 2 B Sophora posted Dissolved In memory; Fuck Politeness noted White Ribbon Day report brings the MRAs and the ?What about teh poor MENS? dudes out of the woodwork; and The Hand Mirror reproduced extracts from a speech by Deborah MacKenzie, knowing is not enough. Part 2 here and part 3 here. […]

  • Glen says:

    One of the issues that men groups may have with WRD is that it only focuses on a narrow view of DV and does not look at victims of emotional abuse. If we were to delve into this realm of DV you would find that more men die and suffer in silence than women. Each year 50 women and 25 men are killed by their partner (including sax sex relationships) however whilst only 365 women commit suicide each year in Australia, more than 1400 men die through suicide with relationship problems being the biggest contributing factor. We spend so much time obsessed with the road toll and give not a thought that more men are committing suicide. What blows me away even more is that with child abuse marketing campaigns, it appears that only little girls are victims. I would be interested how you would refute the facts I have presented here

    [“Glen”, FFS. Two days after Xmas and you come in here reviving a thread from many weeks ago, having met too much opposition at Andrew’s place, I guess. Then you imply that I’ve got a responsibility to refute your stupid comment point by point, or be totally pwned I guess is the implication. Your assertion that men commit suicide because of women being rude and nasty to them is just that – an assertion. The evidence points more to the possibility that masculine roles as played out in Australia are often just as toxic for the men as for the women: or, as the saying goes, “Patriarchy Hurts Men Too”. Blaming male suicide on the mens’ female partners is an assertion; it’s not a fact. Now run along and get your own blog, or find a current post to comment on. CIB]

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