19 Oct 2008, Comments Off on Saturday Night: Live, thank Goodness

Saturday Night: Live, thank Goodness

Author: Helen

So far we’ve managed to avoid the late night vigil in Casualty with Boychild. We had it with Girlchild a decade ago- memo to young parents: Polished wood floors are brilliant for health and aesthetics, but very bad for falling on face first.

(Update: Girlchild’s face is very beautiful and by some miracle she has all her teeth.)

Also, by some miracle, Boychild still has two eyes. His penchant for explosions caught up with him today. This time it wasn’t Mentos and Coke but simple bicarb and vinegar. Hell, I use the same mixture for cleaning bathroom surfaces. I first became aware of a problem when peeling potatoes and hearing his friend, who had come for a sleepover, yelling that “Boychild’s really hurt himself. Help, help, he’s really hurt.”

Here follows a couple of paragraphs which might not be immediately legible because it concerns tear/tear (rip vs. drop of salty water), like those “They’re Their There” paragraphs which school students have to parse…

He had a three cornered tear on the skin on his head near the hairline. Now I know what they say in the First Aid courses: Head wounds bleed copiously. Believe it. So, I did not freak out based on the enormous amounts of blood coursing down his little face. We hotfooted it to the local hospital and thanks to Boychild gushing fountains of blood, were admitted straight away. Thank the Lard, it was an unusually quiet night. One nice doctor sewed up his head while an extremely cool younger doctor gave him a lecture on not blowing things up. Thanks, nice doctor and cool doctor.

Then he had to wait an hour and a half to see Way Cool Eye specialist, which was where I began to freak out. (Inwardly, of course. People who outwardly freak out in Casualty should just get the fuck out and are a pain in the arse.) Because of course the first thing I’d asked him was whether the flying shrapnel had got his eye. No, he hadn’t got any pain in his eye and it was fine he said. Bollocks. He has a small tear in his iris. Yes that kind of tear not the other kind. He also has blood in the front of the eye. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

He is going to have to spend seven days commuting between his bed, the couch and the toilet. He’s not allowed to do …well…anything much. He can’t even walk around the block. Worse, he can’t do too much reading or computer gaming or any of the other things 11-year-old boys want to do to pass the time when they’re immobilised. Is it possible for an 11- year old to perish from sheer boredom?

(Digression- about freaking out in Casualty – bearing in mind it was Saturday, we got discharged just as the first wave of Angry Drunks arrived. That was lucky. Isn’t there some island somewhere we could send angry drunks and meth heads to live? I wouldn’t want to persecute them or anything. I’d drop really nice food by helicopter. Just let them live there away from the rest of us.)

I’m just glad to have Boychild home, instead of in a hospital bed (which was on the cards a few hours ago). I’m glad he still has the chance of keeping his (hitherto) healthy vision. Please keep your fingers crossed for him.

Comments (0)

  • cristy says:

    oh ge’ez Helen I hope he pulls up fine. You poor things!

  • Laura says:

    Fingers firmly crossed, Helen.

    A week in bed with no visual recreation allowed sounds like a situation for lots of podcasts and audiobooks.

  • kate says:

    Oh bugger. Good luck. Is he too old for Harry Potter on cd?

  • Helen says:

    Thanks y’all!
    I think Harry Potter would be excellent, as he hasn’t read any of it so far (is addicted to Ranger’s Apprentice instead.) Girlchild and her best friend were Potter-mad until they were about fifteen.

  • Helen says:

    And you can use us as an Example to scare your own kids with.

  • Goodness, fingers are firmly crossed.
    Yes, audio books are fab for this situation, and easily downloadable from itunes, emusic etc.

  • Oh what fun you parents have! It made me think of all the trips to casualty my mother had (between the three of us there was numerous concussions, a lot of broken bones, accidents involving horses, experiments with electricity and all of us had stitches at some time or another).

    Wishing you lot’s of patience (and less patients).

    Audio book suggestion, the NB downloaded Phillip Pullman’s ‘His Dark Materials’ trilogy a couple of years ago. A BBC production, well read and much better than the film version (The Golden Compass).

  • Helen says:

    His friend’s mum (the friend who was with him) just dropped in, not to point out my obvs failings as a responsible parent, but to drop off some home made pumpkin soup and garlic bread.

    Boychild is happily watching a DVD, which he’s allowed to do.

    We’ve arranged for an iPod (he had a Shuffle, but lost it.) I’m thinking of reading THe Once And Future King to him.

  • shula says:

    Vinegar and bicarb? You can make Something Explosive from that?

    Who knew?

  • boynton says:

    Fingers crossed and best wishes.

  • Tim says:

    Fingers crossed here too, Helen. I reckon The Once and Future King would cheer anybody up, especially an 11-year-old boy.

  • Zoe says:

    Oh, you poor things. Bet he still blows shit up, too.

  • Bernice says:

    Right – now parental heart palpitations have ceased, poor bugger you, poor bugger him. Time to keep only verjuice in the pantry. Given that The Tormentor & I have launched rockets 30 metres into the air using the same propellants, he’s a very lucky fella.

  • Oz Ozzie says:

    Ranger’s Apprentice is great. If he likes that, might be time for tolkien? Can get that through iTunes

  • TimT says:

    Whew and wow. No-more blowing up for the time being then. Fingers crossed with everyone else, and best wishes Helen.

  • Helen says:

    He had his first clinic appt today with Dad. Doctor said the eye was healing nicely but we stil have to wait and see if there are any long term consequences. Meaning maybe glasses I’m suspecting, if the vision in one eye is lopsided. Not eye loss.

    His big Frankenstein cut with 7 stitches is high up enough that he will get to keep his handsomeness. 🙂 (Shallow of me, I know.) And he is happy and healthy in himself, although bored out of his brain. Thanks for the talking book suggestions everyone- he has a few already and I’m staying home to read to him and play Scrabble, maybe, if he wants to.

  • ThirdCat says:

    Just dropped over to see how things are, and am very pleased to see okay.
    My eldest has just got started on backgammon too and it passes time pretty nicely.
    Take care.

  • Mindy says:

    Wow, I thought things were hectic with a two year old with a cut lip (with rusty scissors!). Copious amounts of blood, but no lasting damage after our little trip to emergency. I hope that your son heals quickly and without problems. I understand that eyes are pretty good at compensating for each other, so he may have no troubles at all. I hope not for both your sakes.

  • David Irving (no relation) says:

    I’m glad the lad is OK. Don’t worry about any scars – when he’s a bit older he’ll think it’s really cool (in an Erich von Stroheim kind of way). I doubt if it’ll make him much more cautious in future though – I remember all the repeatedly risky things I did when I was a boy, and remember also the relief I felt when my adult sons told me how they’d survived all kinds of things I knew nothing about years earlier.

  • brownie says:

    at least this will be a good story for the Dad speech at boychild’s 21st,
    great comiserations from me for your shock and drama.

  • David says:

    Nice writing,
    I hope your Boychild doesn’t perish on the couch. No video games sounds like hell to me and I’m 38 and three quarters.
    I think the emergency ward is the best place to see just how messed up and selfish booz and heroin addiction can make people. Maybe all they really want is their mummies to be sitting with them too.
    I hope he recovers fully and learns to conduct his explosive experiments in a more controlled environment. He’s probably speculating right now where he went wrong and how he will do it better next time…

  • Helen says:

    Thanks again everyone…!

    Maybe all they really want is their mummies to be sitting with them too.

    I think you might have something there.

    He’s OK to read, though.

    Everything is steady as she goes. He has a retinal tear with a bit of a sticky-up edge for which the risk is a detached retina = bye-bye sight, but he is being monitored by the Eye and Ear hospital so he’s in good care.

  • Pants says:

    Hi Helen

    I’m so glad Boychild is recovering well. I don’t feel at all guilty about enjoying the humour of the story since he’s going to be fine.



  • Hi Helen, I hope your kid is recovering okay! -fingers crossed-

  • Aphie says:

    Glad Boychild’s healing well, Helen.
    May be time for Santa to drop off some protective goggles?

  • Uncle Jeremy says:

    Very disturbed to hear about the eye damage, and glad that it seems to be healing well. Uncle Max and I clearly need to coach him in how to blow things up without damaging oneself excessively. Incidental scarring is fine, as it gives one gravitas. Scientific investigation is very important to the future of the country, and it is good to see he is committing himself to the cause.

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