11 Jul 2008, Comments Off on Friday Dogblogging: the (carbo) loaded dog

Friday Dogblogging: the (carbo) loaded dog

Author: Helen

Today, the dogs and I walked to the local strip shopping centre because we were out of bread. We went there because I was too lazy to walk the other way. This was a mistake, because our local milkbar doesn’t know bread from a hole in the ground, and the “bakery” is a purveyor of ghostloaves.*

So it was that I came home with an inferior loaf of white bread which I dumped on the kitchen counter while I went about the business of getting ready for a day out gallivanting with a friend, while the kids indulged their own busy social lives.

About twenty minutes later I was looking for something or other and my distracted gaze fell onto a plastic bag on the floor, in the living room, containing… about three slices of bread. I actually wondered whether it was possible that it was a different bread bag, but then remembered that the chances of me buying that stuff twice in a row were remote indeed. Someone had scoffed over three-quarters of a loaf of bread.

Both dogs look equally guilty, but I’m pretty sure which dog it is. To put that in context, he’s just nearly succeeded in polishing off something the same size as he is. Come to think of it, he does resemble a loaf of Karl’s Light Rye on spindly little legs.

If I wasn’t such a nice person, that dog would be languishing at home while the rest of us go to the Island to perish with cold go for long walks on the beach and chase the waves. As it is, he’s coming with us.

* “Ghostloaf” is a word for which there is no google result whatsoever. It was coined by the Australian novelist David Foster in his Postal Pastoral novel Dog Rock. “Ghostloaf” refers to a commercially made loaf which is made up from a sack of pre-prepared Commercial Bakery mix and which lacks flavour and texture, being mostly made up of air when baked.

Comments (0)

  • David says:

    After scoffing a loaf of bread, he probably needs the exercise …

  • Anastasiya says:

    At least it was only a ghost loaf

    What are good places to buy bread?

  • Meself says:

    The Phantom, the Ghostloaf who Walks. (Cherchez le chien!)

  • Ariel says:

    Ha! Dogs.

    If I wasn’t such a nice person, my dogs would be in the laundry today doing time out instead of dozing by the heater. They dug holes under the fence and escaped yesterday. One of them came back himself and barked at the front gate, the other was dropped back by the person who found him this morning. Grrr.

    Enjoy the cold.

  • Crit says:

    First up, thanks for your comment on my post! Secondly – I have had this happen too. We’re often too lazy/vague to put the shopping away so it sits on the kitchen floor. More than once someone (cats or dog) has broken into the bread and eaten most of it. Or some other foodstuff. The cats like cake left on the kitchen bench, and packets of dog treats, and bread. The dog likes bread, dog food (he ate about 750g one time) and most other things not packaged securely. We’re learning. Slowly. I like the idea of ghostloaf.

  • I was 25% watching Kommisar Rex last night at my little sisters place and while Moser was away the other plain clothes were teasing Rex with one of his favourite ham rolls. I think he tricked ’em in the end and ate theirs.

    You should be careful what you let your dogs watch.

  • lauredhel says:


    When we were kids, we once decorated the Christmas tree with those gold-wrapped Chocolate Eclair lollies stuck on with sticky tape. They were slowly disappearing, one by one, and unsurprisingly we kids were blamed. We protested our innocence at length and repeatedly, but there was no doubt about it, the lollies kept disappearing. We started blaming each other.

    Some times after Christmas, someone was cleaning out the dobie’s newspaper-layered, and caches of little gold wrappers were discovered. Busted.

    It didn’t hold a candle to the time that we found her pressed rat, though.

  • TimT says:

    Clearly, a well-bread dog.

  • Sabina says:

    Perhaps the dog thought he was doing you a favour, saving you from the inferior bread.

  • Helen says:

    LOL everybody.]

    We’re back – Jeebus it was cold there and we had lots and lots of lovely RAIN.

    I was impressed and tickled in equal parts by how gung-ho the boys were, after carrying on about how BOOOOOOORING it was going to be. They were the ones waking SO up in the early morning to go fishing in the rain. He is quite knackered now.

    Ollie was very funny zooming about the beach in circles at warp speed. I don’t think he has seen sea before (he comes from central Victoria) and he seemed quite fascinated by the waves, even though he’s so not a water dog. Hopefully he worked off some of those carbs.

  • nasking says:

    A loaf & a mad, sweaty dash on the beach. Throw him a pickle to chew on…& put some ketchup and mustard in his bowl to lick up & you’ve got yerself a real Hot Dog.

    A good read Helen. Helped relax me.

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