30 Jun 2008, Comments Off on Thirteen days of the school holidays still to go

Thirteen days of the school holidays still to go

Author: Helen

Mum.

Yes Boychild?

Which would you rather: get eaten alive by carnivorous ants, or bitten by a vampire.

[Temporarily forgetting the eternity-of-undeadness thing, which would be a real bummer]: Bitten by a vampire.

But what if the vampire had really really blunt teeth?

[Thinks]: I’ll still take the vampire, thanks.

How about, if the vampire had really worn old teeth and had to gum on you for hours?

What was the choice again?

Comments (0)

  • kate says:

    We sent our kid to childcare today while the Bloke and I emailed each other links to kids music. The Mudcakes do a song about poo. Aren’t you sorry your kids are too old?

  • Helen says:

    Oh no, Boychild is still right into poo. He has actually written a sort of club-mixy song using Garage Band for Macintosh. entitled I like Poo. What age do they give it up?

    He is also enjoying having his friends push him on the skateboard up and down our long corridor, with an overexcited dog skidding behind. You’d be surprised how loud a skateboard gets on a wooden floor.

    *Pops headache pill*

  • Meself says:

    “entitled I like Poo. What age do they give it up?”

    Probably at about the time they discover girls don’t find such references *kewl*.

    Then they rediscover it (not that they want to) about 50+ on account of their GPs telling them that stools are important not as a shock factor but as a preventative examinational regime.

    (Yeah that’s gonna have traction with an indestructible, invincible, immortal adolescent.)

    “an overexcited dog skidding behind.”

    Mmmm, dare one suggest worm tablets? :0)

  • Helen says:

    On its feet, G.G.

  • kate says:

    Well in fairness, it was my 34 year old partner sending me links to the poo song with ‘hee hee hee’ in the subject line. The kid was less giggly about it than either of us, but we’re the ones who change nappies, not him. You spend a couple of years trying to get a kid to talk about their poo while you teach them to deal with their own, and then another ten years trying to get them to shut the hell up about the poo and wee. My boy cousins used to delight in telling their older sister that they’d wiped their bottoms with her facewasher. They also ran into her room when they needed to fart.

    The Mudcakes are locals, and you can download their poo and other songs for your listening pleasure.

  • Pavlov's Cat says:

    Either he really wanted you to say ‘ants’ or he just really enjoys talking to you.

  • Bwca says:

    laughing. why the hell am I laughing?
    It’s too cold to laugh.

  • Ariel says:

    I’d love to unravel the thinking behind this leading question. Why does he prefer the ants? What has he got against vampires?

    The skateboard sounds fun. For him, of course. And the dog. Maybe not for you …

  • blue milk says:

    Hahahahha. I love this.

  • Helen says:

    He does seem to be going for the carnivorous ants, but then it is His Way to make the conditions harder and harder once you’ve made your choice.

    It’s preferable to his former habit of making me choose between Maggie being hurled off a cliff versus him or his sister. I envisage a great career for him as an ethical philosopher. Or a reality show host.

  • Stomper Girl says:

    Death by gumming is still 100 times more attractive than any deaths involving ant-bites. Imagine ants in your eyes and mouth, eeeww! You chose well.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.