Aleeshya’s mum really needs to moisturise more.
A team of Australian scientists have uncovered the world’s oldest vertebrate mother in a newly unearthed species of fossil fish. Published in Nature, the fossil shows a single embryo connected by an umbilical cord and is the oldest evidence of an animal giving birth to live young.
Dating back around 380 million years…
Students at Scarysuburb Senior college were less than impressed with the news when the Balcony did a quick voxpop today.
“My mother is, like, way older,” said Britnee, 16. “She listens to like the Flock of Seagulls and stuff and when that 80s stuff came back a few months back, she had a lot of that stuff in her closet already. Although she had to give it to me cos she couldn’t fit into it any more. Plus, she doesn’t even know how to text. Old.”
But she had to defer finally to young Aleeshya, or as she’s known to her family, “change of life baby”. “My mum had a Kombi van with swirly bits painted on it,” she said. “And the high point of her life was going to Sunbury and watching Billy Thorpe who is, like, dead.”
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My parents like totally have two copies of “Introducing the Seekers Greatest Hits”.
Mum also saw Neil Diamond perform when it was cool. They’re like totally grandparents! (And yet Mum mysteriously has no grey hair!)
Oh, that’s classic. Can you poll high school students more often? Funny.
I loved it too … despite not being even slightly interested in ever ‘Texting’
and I have intense empathy for those poor teachers at ScarySuburb College who have to implant something inside the tiny minds of the Kortneys and Kloes.
I am 57 days away from being old and my hair is glistening not grey although according to several scientific reports I should have died from dye induced carcinoma by now.