I’m battered, bruised and banged up. One side of my left hand has just gone down, but there is still a major bruise just above one of my knees. I’ve got a painful skinned elbow and my neck is just agony – muscular, fortunately, not skeletal. On Sunday night, I was borderline concussed, headachy, nauseous and unable to think straight.
All this is because I was knocked violently off my bike by…
Yes, a whippet.
A very fast moving whippet. Still, a dog I could carry around in a shopping bag.
What next? Mauled by a maltese? Gummed to death by a more than usually misanthropic Australian silkie? Throat punched by a tree frog?