29 Apr 2007, Comments Off on Talkin’ bout my degeneration

Talkin’ bout my degeneration

Author: Helen

Girlchild is fond of sports with a high accident potential. She enjoys horse riding, skiing (although I’d be lying if I said she gets to do it on a regular basis), swimming and rollerblading. She claims to be a clumsy person, but she rides really nicely and she is known to glide regally around the house on her skates, pulling up with that sudden-stop-with-twirl which experienced skaters use to such effect.

Today, she is stumping around the house on crutches, with a broken ankle.

Which she got by falling down the school stairs.

I think that goes to show something-or-other, like “go for it, kids, cos you’ll go arse up doing something anyway”.

She is coping well with the pain, but not so well with the plethora of lame jokes which has been spawned around the place.

Best friend: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Girlchild: “I don’t know, why did the chicken cross the road?”
B.F: “Because IT could!”

And, “Oh, you’re just using that thing as a crutch!”


In other news, I have officially passed the fifty year mark. Ouch.

Thanks to Phantom Scribbler and Shakespeare’s sister for this.

Comments (0)

  • Lad Litter says:

    Happy Cast Iron Birthday. I know how you feel about kids and accidents. We have had a broken leg (femur); and two broken wrists between two of our three boys. Trampolines; play equipment; and kiss chasey provided the venues. We drink a lot more milk these days too.

  • Helen says:

    Thanks Lad. A cracked ankle – it wasn’t broken as such – is no way in the broken femur league. Ouch.

    I always feel nervous about trampolines.

  • Happy Birthday. Are you officially a baby boomer? [makes note to email Paul Watson]

    I hope the cracked ankle thingo resulted in at least a week off school watching daytime tv.

    Lad Litter: broken stuff playing kiss chasey! and they worry about kids on myspace.

  • QuietStorm says:

    Happy birthday, Helen! (and hooray for obscure Ausmusic references)

    Here’s to many more cast-iron years!

    As far as broken bones go, me and my partner have often lamented how kids aren’t allowed to be kids any more. Back in my day hardly a week went by without someone coming in to class with a cast on some limb, or hobbling along on crutches – and the cool story that went along with it was often gradually more embellished as the days went by. That and kids eating dirt have gone the way of the dodo. Sigh.

  • kate says:

    Damn, I got beaten to the Happy Birthday Helen reference. wishing you assorted good things!

    We’re not up to trampolines or broken bones (or stairs!) yet, but I am hoping that all that stuff about allergies and asthma being caused by houses being too clean is true. (My Mum insists it’s the cause of my asthma) If it is true, our little tacker should be quite safe (he rolled off his clean rug and onto the carpet yesterday)

  • Pavlov's Cat says:

    Happy birthday from me too, and welcome to this (I’m sorry about this, Helen) absolute toenail of a decade. Lots and lots of degeneration coming right atcha.

    Thrilled to have another over-50 in the blogarena, all the same.

  • tigtog says:

    Happy Birthday, Helen! Congratulations to you, and Commiserations to the girlchild.

  • Helen says:

    Thanks so much all of you!

    Yes, Girlchild is suffering greatly, she does have to stay home for a week with the complete works of Joss Whedon. Oh, the pain. She’s much better today, because she keeps refusing to use her crutches.

    But FX, please don’t sic PW onto me, I don’t want to be public enemy no. 1 thanks ever so. Anyway, I was too young for the Summer of Lerve, and I remember the era of downsizing-and-cutting all too well from my early working years. So I refuse to wear that mantle.

    Kate, I hope your house has a dog who sheds all the time, like ours.

  • ThirdCat says:

    Happy Birthday, Helen. My friend who turned 50 a few years ago, badged the whole year her ‘Jubilee Year’ and had a mighty fine time. I’m sure she’d be happy for you to take on the concept. I plan to.

    Was there a cake? Streamers? A small whispering of the birthday song, at least?

  • Helen says:

    There was an Indian restaurant. And an after party at a neighbour’s place. There was also the great Bottle of French Champagne disaster, but we will not speak of that until the pain recedes.

  • shula says:

    And a happy birthday to you.

    I always find those first digit shifts to be a little on the traumatic side.

  • […] Yesterday was Helen’s birthday, and she wants us to celebrate by living dangerously. Happy Birthday! […]

  • david tiley says:

    I’m with Pavlov on this one. Sorry. At least you have small bundles of life to keep you sane, exhausted, fretting and young.

    The only consolation I can find in my fifties is that I am obviously getting old in a very different way to my parents, so the badness I fear probably won’t happen – at least in the way I picture it.

    Secretly (well, secretly until now) I was impressed by those new plastic bags you could buy which excluded ethylene from the vegetables. They worked well. Food just didn’t decay in the same way. Instead, it continued to look vaguely glamorous and edible until it just went phut one day, and turned into a sticky mess.

    I think we can push the phut moment right out into our eighties.

  • Hippo Birdy, Two Ewes
    Hippo Birdy, Two Ewes
    Hippo Birdy Dear L N
    Hippo Birdy, Two Ewes.

    Have a LARGE birthday, namesake!

  • Gianna says:

    hey, happy birthday Helen!

    David frankly i could use less phut moments lately. i dread what’s to come in terms of injuries as described above…we’re averaging one bad bump a week lately. i rushed him round to the docs the other week because he fell on his chin and then a few minutes later got his first ever nosebleed and i panicked thinking his brain was coming out his nose. that’s when i hate being a single parent. but luckily we’ve had no major bleeders yet…*crosses fingers, touches wood, picks four leaf clover, prays, sacrifices a goat, doesn’t step on cracks, hangs horseshoe upside down, takes out insurance*

  • Helen says:

    Oh thank ewe all!!

  • Helen says:

    And David, ewwwww. 😉 If i end up as a vegetable, I don’t want to be shrink wrapped, although apparently some people end up rapt in their shrink.

  • Laura says:

    Happy Birthday!

  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY, splendid one.

  • suze says:

    Yes, unexpected degenerative events have proliferated since I turned 50, it has to be admitted, but on the whole I feel good and having the young ones around is an antidote to ageing. The worst thing about it is the actual number 50, which I feel is so not me.

    Happy birthday!

  • suze says:

    PS: Does this mean you’ll be changing your sub-heading?

  • Helen says:

    Thanks, Suze, GOTA and Laura!
    I was thinking I should have a competition. Watch this space as they say.

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