Oz Conservative Mark Richardson plays the old favourite, “Has feminism failed women?” To which, of course, the answer is always yes, yes, yes. Richardson proves this irrefutably by pointing to a study with a sample of … one, in that respected peer reviewed journal, Marie Claire.
The sample of one in the article is Danielle, whose life has undeniably been sad. From the get-go we know that feminism is to blame for all of it, because first off, she didn’t meet a man she wanted to start a family with until she was 35, and if it wasn’t for feminism she would have gritted her teeth and married that guy who bounced little flecks of saliva off her when he got excited, voted DLP and laughed like “ahurrrrr, ahurrrr, ahurrrrr”. (Hopefully, the resulting children wouldn’t have resembled their Dad too much.) Or her parents would have chosen him for her.
No, the opportunity was lost, because as we know, no woman missed out on marriage and children in Victorian or Edwardian times, only since the sisterhood was in flower.
Then Danielle did have a child and he/she was Downs Syndrome, and as you all know feminism is responsible for Downs. She was shocked, “being unaware of the difficulties of pregnancy in later life.” Which is not sheer common or garden ignorance, as you might think, but that damned feminism again. Because feminists, and only feminists, have the responsibility to warn women of the increasing rates of DS as we age.
Danielle descended into depression and sadness, describing herself as a “weeping, empty vessel”. We also learn that partner “Rob” was “understandably reluctant to keep pursuing fertility treatment”, which is definitely feminism at work somehow (I haven’t worked it out yet, but I’ll keep digging).
Amazingly enough, while this was going on, the wonderful “Rob” (who she describes as the love of her life) was cheating on her with a “happy, slim, successful, creative woman”. Of course, as many cheatees are encouraged to do, she blamed herself. “Although Rob’s behaviour was never anything other than selfless and loyal, I felt that I had ‘denatured’ our relationship.” Although the article as quoted by Richardson made it seem as though Rob was cheating on her, apparently the “happy, slim, successful, creative woman™” was a description of her as she was, so he wasn’t two-timing her as far as we know. He merely walked out of the marriage because he received a faulty bill of goods, not as advertised. Colour me still unimpressed.
If your world view doesn’t allow for a husband who
is cheating on you walks out of the marriage when you become depressed and gain weight to be described as “never anything other than selfless and loyal”, then you are a berloody feminist for sure. At least you’re in the reality-based community, which is just as bad. Unless Richardson thinks that shaky or shallow relationships were invented by feminism, or feminists think such relationships are a good thing. Or something.
So what went wrong? Why did Danielle end up in such unhappy circumstances? The men of my generation won’t be surprised by her answer:
The trouble was, throughout my 20s and early 30s, my relationships with men were short-lived and problematic. I was always attracted to exciting, but emotionally unavailable men, who were anything but suitable husband – let alone father – material.
Because feminists have been pointing out for so long that exciting but emotionally unavailable men are the way to go. What bollocks – these men have been beloved by many deluded women in the last century, notably the ones of more “traditional” bent, whose idea is that they’ll “tame” or “retrain” them somehow. About such men, feminism has had little to say, as the focus is more on men who’ll share the unpaid work and parenthood.
Ungrateful Danielle still didn’t really wake up to the noxious effect feminism had had on her life, though. Her solution-in-hindsight looks suspiciously, to Richardson, like a rejection of patriarchal values.
I still bitterly regret not having had children much sooner. I wasted precious time in my 20s and 30s waiting for the love of my life, when I should have just got on with it – whether or not the right man was by my side. He could have come later.
Her “solution”, if generally adopted, would only drive the wedge between men and women more deeply, making things even more difficult for future generations.
You couldn’t drive a wedge between me and the likes of “Rob” deeply enough for my liking.