14 Jul 2006, Comments Off on ‘Do I feel loquacious?’ – well do you, punk?

‘Do I feel loquacious?’ – well do you, punk?

Author: Helen

Picture from http://www.knebworthhouse.com/press/People/INDEX.HTM

The new winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest are in.

Aaaaand the winner is:


Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you’ve had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.
Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA

The runner up:


“I know what you’re thinking, punk,” hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, “you’re thinking, ‘Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?’ – and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel loquacious?’ – well do you, punk?”
Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland

Comments (0)

  • shauny says:

    *grins* i don’t know how they sit down and deliberately come up with something that sounds SO bad and make it sound so convincingly bad… does that make any sense?

  • Helen says:

    Oh come on now Shauny, yer a gun writer. I bet you could come up with something.
    Some other people I’d like to see a Bulwer-Lytton entry by:

    Sterne
    Kip Manley (Long Story Short Pier)
    Chris Clarke
    The G-G
    Nabakov

    That’s just for starters.

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