26 Apr 2006, Comments Off on Hoist on my own Hills

Hoist on my own Hills

Author: Helen

You’ve heard of the Mummy driveby™ (Sorry, I drop the US spelling on this blog), but here’s the childfree version.

Every mother is a total guilt bucket of course, and one of the marvellous flavours of that guilt is that as breeders, we are total environmental vandals!

It is absolutely true that children = environmental pressure, but as the Australian human population is below replacement level, I can usually maintain that form of guilt at a manageable level.

D. caught up with me as I was sitting in the laundrette giving my washing load a bit of a toast. Because although I use my clothesline and clotheshorse extensively, as the days draw in and the evenings get cold and we just can’t get the boy and do the evening bread-and-milk run and still be home in time to get stuff off the line before it all gets clammy…And sometimes these days it even rains! (Hooray!)…I still need to fall back on the dryer to get the job done completely.
Image from http://www.ozbird.com/oz/OzCulture/oz_culture/optimism/default.htm

-So, what are you doing here?
-I’m doing a load of drying. (Thinks: Nothing to do with the fact I can sit and read in a warm place, uninterrupted… honest!)
-Oooh! (giggle), I don’t use the dryer, I use the clothesline!

Well, what can I say to that? If I replied “well, perhaps it’s something to do with the fact I’m washing for four and you’re washing for one”, which is just the bleeding obvious, I’d be putting shit on her single status and sounding like Teh Smug Married Bore. Which I am always careful not to do.

So I just had to suck it up, didn’t I.

Comments (0)

  • Sedge says:

    Yes m’dear it is all very worthy and environmentally sound to hang out your washing on the Seigfried Line, but what is decidedly worrisome is that, judging by the “brighter than bright” appearance of your smalls, it would appear that you purchase your clobber from a Chernobyl Op Shop.

    (And I would have the EPA run a geiger counter over yer polyanthuseseses.)

  • Helen says:

    The only ticking on my washing line is that grey and white stuff.

    …You mean to say that Romanian washing powder from NQR wasn’t OK?

  • third cat says:

    and I like the way you have hung your socks in pairs. I always intend to do it, but it never works.

  • Helen says:

    Third cat, I hate to disillusion people but I am flat-out lying again – that’s not my Hills Hoist but an image from here. I don’t actually have a Hills Hoist – it’s one of those extendaline thingies which are supposed to roll up so you can pretend to be too posh to have a washing line when visitors come, which of course I never bother to do.

    And we have a wooden deck rather than a cast iron balcony.

    so as not to completely destroy your faith in human nature, the boy and the teenager are real.

  • brownie says:

    I see a gap in the Services Market: bringing in autumn washing for people who don’t get home before the damp sets in.

    Sorry to hear that you don’t have the Wonder Of The Rotary Clothesline.
    A beloved icon.
    Easily converted into a huge umbrella in the summer, by the flinging over of a painters canvas dropsheet … aha! the lightglobe went on!
    Possibly your damp laundry situation could be alleviated by the flinging over of a plastic dropsheet, to create a dry zone? (secure the edges with pegs)

  • brownie says:

    OMG. I followed the picture link

    “Hook the car parts there to be spraypainted,
    or if killing poultry,
    an excellent place to hang the dead chooks before plucking.”

    I cannot speak. aaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh

  • Helen says:

    Brownie, the Martha Stewart of the blogosphere.

    A friend of ours burned his Hills Hoist!
    It burned for quite a while, I’m told.

  • Kate says:

    Ah that’s the stoush I got caught in over at Twisty Faster’s place.

    Anyhoo, we have a STUPID clothesline ’round the side of the hourse and in winter the berloody clothes never dry and get that awful musty smell, so I usually drag a basket down to the neighbourhood laundromat and use one of the big gas-powered driers there about twice a week.

  • third cat says:

    that’s okay, I’m not disillusioned. Who amongst us does not embellish? I assume, nonetheless, that your wooden deck is lightly polished at the beginning of every summer and is generally well-maintained.

  • kate says:

    So that’s why Mum used to ring when we got home from high school? Not to check we were well, but to remind us to bring in the washing before she got home from work.

  • Desert Pea says:

    The iconic hills hoist is something we’ve installed in every home – by pure necessity. We wash regularly – every weekend! so without our iconic friend the kids would run naked (more often than they already do!) and there is a fair chance we’d turn up naked to work. And I can safely assure you that what doesn’t come in late Sunday remains on the line until next Saturday. We like to be consistent, if only for the benefit of the neighbours.

    Stuff the single girl – mock her wash and wear status – and remind her that if she spent more time at the laundromat, she might spend a little less time single!

  • L. says:

    I am obnoxious, so I would have said this:

    “Oooh! (giggle), I don’t use the dryer, I use the clothesline.”

    “Oh, I used to use the clothesline, too, but I just got so tired of all the insects and bird crap all over the clothes, you know?”

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