5 Jan 2005, Comments (0)

Goodbye Two Oh Oh Fo’, you skanky ho’

Author: Helen


2004 was a shit of a year. As we said goodbye to 2003, and I thought of the terrible early morning screech of RAAF jets over our house in March, the pain in the landscape, the pain in Iraq, I rejoiced. 2004 just had to be better. Yeah. 2004 has been the worst year of my life, bar one.

Warning: More whingeing below the fold.

2004 has been the year I experienced the worst betrayal and humiliation possible from people close to me. It was the year trust was destroyed. There is nothing, literally nothing, that “nice”, civilised people won’t do to one another. It only takes a little alcohol here and a little peer pressure here and an excuse there, and nice people will deal you unlimited psychic injury. The safety of love, family and marriage is illusory. This year I’ve envied the single mum bloggers. Yes! I know, I know, the grass is always greener…

I’ve been complimented on how I look this year, because I dropped a few kilos. Little do most people know that they too could lose weight just as quickly on a post traumatic stress diet. (New! Eat unlimited amounts of anything you want, ’cause you won’t want any of it!) … I don’t recommend it.

I’ve been thinking about people I’ve been affected by this year, Gen-Xers in particular, along much the same lines as Adele Horin describes here, about whether people without any religion really are at a disadvantage in life. Do they grow up without a moral compass? Is it possible to have a consistent ethical framework in life without (a) God? My answer is that I’m still an unrepentant Godless Humanist. I’ve had to spend too much valuable blogging time on an infidelity support group (that should give you an idea), and most of the cheaters described there are Americans who are “practicing” Christians. I’ve also spent my childhood with a highly ethical Godless Humanist. So, doing the right thing can be difficult sometimes whether you are a practicing Christian or a practicing atheist.

The news of 2004 has been full of horrible things perpetrated by religious people of all persuasions. So I don’t think the rise of the religious right is going to fix anything. (More bloggage on this topic in future, I think.)

Three good things about 2004. One is my beautiful boy and girl, who I’d write long, boring tributes to, if not for the worry that people might google in here for the wrong reasons (troll, please take note!). Consider yourself lucky.

The second was the breaking of the drought. Well, pretty much over our way, anyway.

Third. Around April, after I’d been blogging for just over a year, I was given a MT site at Media2, courtesy of Barista and MySpinach (Now Culture2). For nix. For nothing. They just gave it to me. I could not imagine such generosity. For a few days I was happy, absorbed and grateful.

Then all hell broke loose, and I slogged rather than blogged with one metaphorical hand tied behind my back. It would have been a good time for a long hiatus, if not for my brandnew blog. I didn’t want to kill it off in its infancy, and I wanted it to live up to its new home. But looking back through the archives recently, I still think the posts on the pre-April 2004 blog had more flow. Blogging with a broken heart, like any other activity, isn’t optimal. To some extent, my interest in the outside world was “fake it ’til you make it”. I hope to make it in 2005.

A big thank you to bloggers, for showing me the better side of human nature when I was ready to give up on it and retire to raise chickens.

To those who say: Think of those worse off… I say, yes, absolutely…

Comments (0)

  • Flute says:

    Helen, retire? Raise chickens? Has some wierd hacker got into this site?

  • Helen says:

    Flutey, you don’t mean you’ve never had the chicken-raising urge (or equivalent) when faced with the ideological and electoral triumphs of the right in 2004.. the rise of superstition, “Creation science” et al… the fact that Labor’s plan to save the Tas forests will now be a no go… The fact that the Senate will no longer keep the bastards relatively honest as they used to… Iraq, Darfur…

    However – I do keep thinking of reasons to be cheerful. I just wanted to say goodbye to that pox of a year and let 2004 be in no doubt as to what I thought of it.

    It is a nice fantasy though… A quiet little farmhouse with chickens, Kelpie crosses and a horse or two. And a good PC with a state of the art internet connection, OF COURSE.

  • David Tiley says:

    If U leave can we come 2?

  • Flute says:

    We all know its fucked. A soon as say India or China match our consumption we’re buggered. All we can do is stick our fingers up and hope that its not too late. It is of course. Not even a bloke in a white cloud (or Tiley) can stop it.

  • Helen says:

    Acourse, the diogenes fantasy is all very well when I picture the remote chicken shack in daylight, but it’d be as scary as all f### at night time.

    Hmm, there’s an idea – a B & B for bloggers? Time out in the country, but without having to go without your ADSL? I think I’m on a winner here.

  • Brave and True says:

    Helen your account of 04 as a “shit of a year” was very moving. I admire your bravery in detailing how and why it was a rotten year. (wouldn’t have the courage to reveal myself and my circumstances so publicly) So hope your writing is cathartic for you.
    Yours is certainly a blog I check into regularly as your comments on current happenings are often so apt and then you tackle something entirely different and it is well worth reading and pondering. All the best for 05 to be a much better year.

  • Helen says:

    Thanks Sylvia. I think it was the complete opposite of your kindly assessment – a selfindulgent, personal rant really, and I don’t feel “bravery” is deserved after the latest crisis. Standing on a beach holding your baby’s empty jumpsuit after the tsunami recedes, and then having to go on living, now that’s bravery. My own life events don’t compare and it’s only my limbic system which imagines that they do.

    Barista found another blog, Cancergiggles, which also puts my rants into perspective.

    Hmmm, now that sounds ungracious! It’s really just an attempt at perspective. Thanks for your lovely comments, happy 05 to all of you!

  • Sedgwick says:

    I’m about to launch my neo-eugenics campaign. You might be interested Ms. Ferrous Buehlers-Balcony.

    Bloggers will only breed from bloggers thereby creating a new improved, anti-bacterial, added enzymes, caring-sharing master race.

    Barista has already proposed to me. I’m having my people check out his dowry offer (a quiet little farmhouse with chickens, Kelpie crosses, a horse or two and an Internode connection with a free set of steak knives) with a fine tooth cockscomb, but his intentions seem to be honorable enough.

    Have a merde hot 2005, Helen.

    As my grey haired old granny (the nana formerly known as Uncle Neville before the sex change), used to say, “things can only get better … or worse … or worse still, stay the same … or kind of stay a bit the same with little bits getting worse but better than the worst bits of the better bits that weren’t as good as the known better bits that we know that we don’t know. There are known better bits, that is to say there are things we now know weren’t worse. But there are also unknown worse bits — things we do not know we don’t know about the better bits.”

    I know that sort of pithy positive advice doesn’t grow on trees, but if you check out underneath the wings of your average Rhode Island Red you might be in for a big surprise, for today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

    (Must go, Nurse Ratchett has sprung me at the institution’s laptop.)


  • Sedgwick says:

    Update 1. Re my neo-eugenics campaign. The first cabs off the rank. Oh frabjus bran’ new day!

    via GRUDNUK

  • Helen says:

    Big congratulations to Shauny – cynicism hereby suspended for a wee while in honour of yon wee lassie. Anyone who hasn’t checked out her blog (What’s New Pussycat) should do so toute suite.

    I’m off to Gippsland again (wistfully checking out renovators’ delights from the car window). Be good y’all.

  • MrLefty says:

    Helen, just saw your post on bigbob’s about what happened to my old blog (M*lbourneLefty).

    Please don’t think I’m responsible for what’s there now. I deleted it; some scumbag has started a new one with the same URL and is selling phone sex. Blogger won’t take it down.

    I’m elsewhere, now…

  • ag says:

    Hey, as one of those single mum bloggers albeit I’d prefer to style myself as positive parent, I can promise you it all gets easier – another blogger reminded me it’s like an arc of pain, and you just have to get over that top bit before it all starts to recede. Hope 2005 improves for you and please keep writing

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.