17 Jun 2004, Comments (0)

Proof they’re over-educated

Author: Helen

1.

After posting about Anzacs (the biscuits), I got the urge to make some for the school’s fundraising stall, didn’t I? I was at the Dry Ingredients stage when I discovered I was out of desiccated coconut. I schlepped off to the Big, Bad New Supermarket which has recently appeared, puffball-like, on an ugly vacant block near our place. Cake-y things, flour, cornflour, arrowroot, hundreds and thousands, icing sugar…No coconut. Retrace steps. Try Health Foods section. Retrace steps through Cake things again. No coconut.
I went to the little corral where they keep staff at the front. Pawing and snorting, there was an example of the brand-new shiny supermarket manager, barely out of his 20s, and ready to take on the world.
Shaking his head, he expressed sorrow and disbelief when we found the desiccated coconut tucked away in some unlikely aisle. “You’re absolutely right,” he muttered, “It should be with the cake ingredients. There should be an intuitive flow.”

2

In the Other Big Bad Supermarket, Saturday morning: “Elvis, Elvis. To the checkout please, Elvis.”

Comments (0)

  • Sedgwick says:

    Well, back in the late fifties you weren’t able to make Anzacs for love, money or country on account of the “DESICCATED COCONUT SCARE”. I remember that for quite a long time d.c. wasn’t available. I did a quick Google but wasn’t able to find details. Think it might have been something to do with salmonella. Just trust me, there were bereft pantries right across the wide brown desiccated land.

    However my intuitive flow Googling did uncover this food hazard from the May 2002 minutes of the Planning and Development Services Committee of the Shire of Murray.

    “24/4/02. Wild’s Ezy Sauce (Sauce & Condiment Recipe Mix)

    Due to chemical reaction with rubber liner of metal cap, product may produce a loud popping sound when opened, which may cause customer to drop glass bottle.

    All retailers in Shire of Murray notified to withdraw stock.”

    (Coincidentally and trivially, the sauce was invented by Mr. Wild the chemist in my country home town. Many a time I was sent up the street during school lunch-time and entered the apothecary for a large bottle of Wild’s Ezy Sauce for me mum’s tomato sauce making … and with the change splashed out on a mixed pack of condoms for afternoon recess time.)

  • david tiley says:

    Reminds me when they had a Franklins supermarket in Fitzroy St in St Kilda, before it became an atrium for a trendy hotel.

    Ancient trannies would stumble around with their wigs and makeup askew, lurching into junkies jigging around waiting to score in the carpark.

    My favourite announcement: Mop and bucket to aisle four please, mop and bucket to aisle four..

  • Helen says:

    Have a good time in Sinny, the two of you. That Ezy-Sauce stuff is scary, especially the bottle with its frilled cap. I can just imagine some wretch getting the VB stubbies and ezy-sauce confused and ending up with no stomach at all.

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